It’s February, which means there are hearts and candies and cards everywhere. We can’t help but feel the season of love unfolding all around us. One of the things we do as a team is take a little test to find out our love languages—we actually have a google doc where we share year-to-year our languages.
This test is a series of questions where you decide between two positive instances with a partner. At the end of the test, your results tell you a bit about the best way to communicate love to you in your relationships. There are five categories—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch—and each category has a lot of information available to learn more about that style of communication. It’s a small thing, but it’s helpful to see how our coworkers like to be communicated with, and many of us have asked our partners to take the test too.
So, for this month’s Cup of Tea we are talking about our love languages (and encouraging you to take your test and think about yours).
It makes sense that quality time is my main love language, followed by physical touch. If I could just sit and drink tea with you, perfect. If our skin could touch… even better. And by “you”, I mean my person. Although I do love some QT with close friends and cuddles on the couch with Koko (my kitty).
My main Love Language is quality time and it's something I completely cherish with my boyfriend. My favorite moments are when we are hanging out and get sucked into a deep conversation (about anything), organically. It makes me happiest when we open up to one another, share personal experiences and anecdotes that we haven't really shared with anyone else, and know that we can completely trust each other and rely on each other for support. Because we spend a lot of time together, it's easy for us to do our own things while being in the same space, so the times we are actively present with one another are the times that stand out to me the most.
My main Love Language is physical touch, followed closely by quality time. They naturally compliment each other and I do feel most comfortable when a person I care for is sharing complete attention and closeness. I love to spend one-on-one time with my friends, I always hug hello, and in moments of celebration and seriousness I hug or hold hands with people in support. My partner’s language is quality time and we find that snuggling close and laughing about some silly thing we’ve daydreamed together finds us both in our happiest place.
I was surprised to discover that my main Love Language is physical touch, followed by a tie with quality time and words of affirmation. I think it's because physical touch hasn't been a big part of my family culture, so it feels extra special to me when somebody touches me. When I'm having a conversation with a friend and she places her hand on my arm, or when a friend runs her hands through my hair while I'm lounging on the sofa, these times feel very special and intimate to me. It makes me feel like that friend really loves me. And when my husband gives me a little massage or shares a long hug with me, I feel like he is super present in the moment with me, which makes me feel very loved. 🙂
My main love language is Quality Time and this definitely doesn't surprise me. I without a doubt prefer one-on-one time over being in a big group of people, one of my favorite quotes is “I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.” I have a solid amount of deep, long-lasting friendships and that’s enough for me. Having acquaintances is great, but it’s not super imperative to my happiness.
When I'm in a relationship, quality time is so important to keeping the fire alive and growing together as a couple. It really lets you connect and get on the same level, which can easily be disrupted by all the other outside noise in life.
My main love language is Acts of Service followed by Words of Affirmation. I am not at all surprised by this. I am very big on having help, whether it is around the house or just in our everyday schedules. Having assistance with burden of responsibility around the house is HUGE. This speaks high volumes for me, with showing that there is respect for my time and peace of mind.
Words of Affirmation—I know the saying is actions speak louder than words, however, I do not always agree with this. I like to hear those kind, loving words.
My primary love language is quality time followed by physical touch. I think having new experiences with a partner, whether it be traveling, trying a new cuisine, or hiking a new trail together deepens your connection and gives you an outlet to spend quality time and be fully present. Also long hugs, holding hands, and a massage from my husband are a reaffirmation of love and connection. I have also read that holding a hug for at least six seconds releases oxytocin and serotonin which solidifies bonding 🙂
My love language is acts of service. When I first learned this, I realized why I was never really interested in gifts. I would get nice stuff around the holidays and not get that excited. After knowing this, I realize that the act doesn't have to be big at all. It literally can be as simple as putting something in the mail for me and I'm totally into it.